Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A Real Mum.

Yesterday my first born flew from the nest, I finally felt like a 'real mum' and I found myself asking some questions.

Is this the beginning of the end (of his baby years at home/full time mothering)?
Will he be ok?
Will he manage all of the hurdles that get thrown his way?
Will be be a good man?
Will he be kind?
Will he love?
Will he respect?

I felt relatively okay after the morning pre school drop off. The classic time where many parents fall apart, when they return to an empty home, calm and quiet all around. This will often set off the tears. Not for me. I was a-okay! Keith was a little bit misty eyed, and a little quiet. I, on the other hand, was full of beans. In fact I was kind of cursing the time that he would finish and calm would turn back into chaos.

Our friend dropped in and we all headed out for a coffee before we would pick up time. ahhhhhhh bliss. As we got up from the table to make our journey over the road to the school, I had a sudden wave of uneasiness. I hope he is ok, I hope he didn't freak out when he realised we had snuck out the gate and left him.

We arrived at the front gate, all was quiet. I could not see a single little person anywhere. I stepped through the little door into the classroom, where everything was in miniature form, I could see all of these beautiful little heads sitting on the floor. As the teacher told them all about how everyone all over the world was the same, I searched for his beautiful little swirl in his golden hair. As I searched, I thought to myself how happy I was that we had chosen this school for Will. In a flash, the office door opened and out came my beautiful little boy. His smile so big it melted my heart. As he whizzed past us, I wondered why he was in the office. I wondered how he went, was he ok, did they cope with having a very enthusiastic nearly four year old who does not talk. Did he even realise that we had left.
The teacher spoke to us briefly about Will's progress, she seemed quite happy with how he went that morning. She asked a few questions and then we were on our way.

The uneasiness only increased as we got home. The only way to cure this uneasiness was to do one thing. SMOTHER HIM IN LOVE. We pilled all of the cushions and blankets on to the lounge room floor, put a Play School dvd on and simply inhaled all of that deliciousness. I looked at his beautiful face, his warm sticky hands pressed up against my cheeks, his lip smacking kisses graced my face, and I immediately started to feel at ease. My baby was home.

So I wanted to know, how did you go on the first day of preschool?


  1. I was the same. Nervous and anxious while she just ran off into the big, bad world. I'll be much the same in the new year when Harper starts...but WORSE BECAUSE SHE IS MY BABY.

  2. What a wonderful, loving mother you are. And a talented writer. Well done!

  3. I was eight months pregnant with my baby girl, my little girl (two) was at daycare so it was just me and my big girl (four) starting kindergarten together. Other mums said hi and waved to each other - but I didn't know anyone else. I was going to be strong for my hyper sensitive little (big) girl. I just walked in with my Maddie, put on her name tag, gave her a kiss and a cuddle, and on the way out the teachers aide gave me a little bag. Inside was a promise that they would keep my little girl safe, a teabag and bikkie when I took time out to miss the noise and a tissue to wipe my tears. I quickly waddled to the car and then BAWLED my eyes out. I suspect I will do exactly the same for other little (big) girls when their time comes too.


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